How
do you stay positive in the face of so much negativity? Enter the Energy Map*. Picture a circle. The circle is 100% of your time, energy, and
potential. Some amount of your time and energy is spent
on the front of the circle (the positive side), and some amount is spent on the
back (the negative side).
The
front side of the circle is a beach. The
sun shines brightly on your hammock swinging between two palm trees. Entertainment is provided by a lizard tasting the sea air with a flick of his tongue. The ocean is calm enough to wade up to your belly button, with just enough waves to keep you jumping. Life is good - your
accomplishments are many, your productivity is high, your energy is
strong. You are learning and growing.
The
back side of the circle is dark and drizzly with a sky full of flying monkeys
trying to steal your hammock and capture your lizard. Nothing is going right - you are brooding
about the last rejection letter, worrying this novel will never be finished, and
blaming the laundry for thwarting your editing attempts. You are floundering in a sea of problems.
Crummy things happen to
good people like you and me. We can't control the flying monkeys, but we can control our
response by focusing on the front side of the Energy Map. To quote my favorite
philosopher Jimmy Buffett: "You only have two choices, having fun or
freaking out, that's what it's all about."
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I had the
opportunity to interview Steven Vannoy- all around positive guy and co-author of Stomp the Elephant in the Office which introduces the Energy Map. Read the interview and his tips for questions to help you spend more time on the positive side (in blue).
Lauri: Steven, first to clarify your superhero status,
how much of your time is spent on the front side versus the back side?
Steven: 95% in the neutral/fact zone
or on the front side. Over the years I have found that the front side is not
always positive. Eventually I might feel
positive as a result of focusing on the front side, yet sometimes I might be
feeling quite crummy in a challenging situation whether I’m focusing on the
back side or front side. Yet, when I
have the discipline to focus more on the front side I create a momentum that
gets me closer to where I need to go; and then it can feel positive. P.S. I am surely not a super hero, but I dearly
want to be a good man and a good example for my family, friends, teammates,
customers and even strangers. When I
live this way, I am emotionally healthy, happy, clear headed and add a lot more
value to every conversation and interaction.
Lauri:
So you are human. How do you
identify when you are on the back side of the Energy Map?
Steven: My Awareness Muscle kicks in and tells me that
I’m wasting my time and life. Over the
years, I have become very aware of my thoughts, and I quickly see if they are
going in an unproductive direction.
Lauri: After you flex your Awareness Muscle, how do
you find the bridge to the positive side?
Steven: Lauri, this is your best question of all. As my Awareness Muscle kicks in, I quickly
position the facts of the situation in the middle of the map/circle. This tells me that the event is not good or
bad, but that it just is. Then I start asking questions that move me forward in
a healthy way. So
let’s say that my manuscript has just been rejected, the questions may be: What
can I learn from this? What can I reap
and use from the last time something like this happened? How can I use this situation to grow stronger? What are all the things I have done well to
get this far already? How would I like
this to turn out, what is my dream? Why is that so important to me? What are most important action steps to go
forward in a healthy way? As you
already know, with these questions, there’s no room for thoughts on the back side,
and every bit of my energy is moving forward.
Instead of digging a big depressing hole for myself, I bolster my
knowledge, confidence and roll on.
Lauri:
I like it on the positive side.
Please don't make me leave! How
do I stay on the positive side?
Steven: All of the strategies we’ve talked about so far: Awareness Muscle, choices,
smart questions, and here are a few more. As your Awareness Muscle becomes even
stronger, notice when you’re on the front side and have lots of quiet little
internal celebrations. You’ll then move
even stronger toward that orientation.
Also, make wise choices on what you put in your head, from what books
you read to TV programs you watch, to what friends you hang around with, and
especially, what you decide to chat about when you’re with that friend. Finally,
always remember that you are not your thoughts and that your brain works for
you vs. you working for your brain.
Therefore, you and I get to decide what we put into our brains and where
we put our focus, and I’m so worth one very healthy focus! Over time, that
focus and the resulting choices I make determine my life. Thank you, Lauri!!!! sv
Lauri: Steven, thank you so much for the
interview and for offering a copy of your book to one of my readers.
Steven:
Ooh, did that say book
giveaway? Yes! Please
share in the comments how you will use these tips in your life. One lucky winner will receive a free copy of Stomp the
Elephant in the Office.
Lauri: You heard the man! Get down there and leave a comment for a chance to make a positive change in your life.
Lauri: You heard the man! Get down there and leave a comment for a chance to make a positive change in your life.
*Energy Map © Verus Global Inc. All Rights
Reserved. Used with permission. http://www.verusglobal.com/About-Us/