What Did You Do at Work Today?
"Hi, honey, how was your day?" I used to answer, "I read 137 emails about nothing, nodded abstractly in a bunch of meetings, made a killer multi-colored spreadsheet, ate chicken fingers at my desk then tried to airspray the breading out of my keyboard, ..." Fast forward to today. "Hey, babe, whad'ya do today?" I answer, "I studied the sounds downy woodpeckers make, which includes a "whinnying call" if you were wondering. I practiced speaking squirrel: "kuk, kuk, chitter, tail flash!" I laugh hysterically then remember my husband doesn't speak squirrel fluently and didn't get the punch line. "I crawled to the kitchen to make lunch, because I couldn't find the right words to describe an anteater hunting ants. Then, I hocked a few loogies into the sink to try to create the sound a giant would make when he stepped on a pointed-hat-wearing elf. Oh, frookberries!" I was too far ...