All These Voices in my Head

Last summer I posted about my Mommy Multiple Personality Disorder and explained all 7 of my mom personalities including Giant Exploding Blueberry Monster (a bad mommy) and Rapping Mary Poppins (a good mommy.) 

Now I'm admitting I have a writing personality disorder too. Split-Voiceitosis. Yes, it's serious, but don't worry - I don't think it's too late for treatment.

It must have started in the fall, when I was striving for five polished picture book manuscripts (because Tara Lazar recommended that goal, and she's smart.) Finally, I had a solid stack of manuscripts, but then ah, snapadoodle! Each one was totally different. I don't mean the theme of the stories (of course they were different stories), but like written by seven writers with these distinct voices:
That's one messed up writer!
(Image by Lauri Meyers)

1.       Sweet, quiet, lullaby voice that cuddles in blankets and drinks hot chocolate. 
2.       Boy voice that throws boogers and makes mudpies which emit farting sounds.
3.       Pink, glitter-covered, boa-wearing princess voice forced upon me by Barbie-playing, princess-dressing, sequin-decorating little girls. Oh how they pry into my once tomboyish brain.
4.       Slapstick comedian voice with a lot of "nuk-nuk-nuks" and a banana peel on every corner.
5.       Psychedelic pink elephants on parade voice with imagination run wild where you have to actually read the book backwards to get the real meaning.  
6.       Dark, edgy voice which should be locked up tight, because she scares me and it's embarrassing for a grown woman to jump into bed at night so the creatures don't grab her ankles.
7.       Exhausted Mother voice which is my most me-voice. Unfortunately, when mother slips into a story with her morals, wagging fingers, and baby carrots she can ruin a perfectly good tale.

That's when I realized I had Split-Voiceitosis. I could elect the "Pick It and Stick It" treatment method by selecting one voice to take the lead. Or I could just let them all co-exist until one clearly becomes the dominant voice. I just hope Dark & Edgy doesn't win, because then I'll have to carry a flashlight at all times.  

Do you have competing voices? What would you do?


  1. Uh-oh. I didn't know I had the disease too until you mentioned it. Is it contagious? I think I'lllet my voices battle it out to see who is the victor. It's going to be the one with the most enthusiastic fans.

    1. It's either contagious or maybe it's normal. I hope it's normal. You're right though, the fans should get to vote!

  2. I knew there would be a farting one in there.

  3. Replies
    1. Well, you and voice 5 could have a lovely trip on a river of seltzer where rapids build bubbles which bring you to a playground on the clouds...

  4. Is it crazy that I like them all? :)

    1. It's possible we've been drinking the same juice.

  5. Too funny and oddly perfectly normal.

    1. I suppose you write all sorts of different kinds of poetry, so I can write all kinds of stories, right?

  6. I notice that in my own writing sometimes too. Especially when there are spans of time between working on a piece.

    I don't know that I have the best solution, but I have found it is less likely to happen when I reread the previous scene/chapter before writing anything new. (Or, with multiple POV, the last scene by that character). That seems to help me "get back in the character's" head, and out of my own.

    Good luck!


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