Don't Eat Your Valentine

Susanna Hill has a guilty heart.
I mean she has a Guilty Heart Valentiny contest this year! By midnight on 2/14 write a children's story in 214 words or less where the character feels guilty.

I love how these contests stretch my writing muscles, plus she has amazing prizes, plus it is a great sense of community reading everyone's entries.

This year I learned something important. I struggle with endings. The evidence should have been obvious. There are many manuscripts weeping in their files, wondering if the writer will ever return to properly finish them. I vow to try! *If anyone has read any great blog posts about endings or would like to send tools my way, post them in the comments or email me! I have a problem, and I need help!

The ending to this one came after a week of struggle, in a bolt of morning dream sleep. I hope you enjoy it!

Don’t Eat Your Valentine

By Lauri C. Meyers

Giant fiddled with a doily. Heart shaped cakes, kissy lip crumpets and cupid churros covered the table. He did not want to get hungry.

His Valentine’s teas had a run of bad luck. A few years back he accidentally kicked his Valentine across the room. An aggressive high five knocked out his next Valentine. Last year, his Valentine got stuck to a giant lollipop. Giant usually ate his guests.  

The doorbell shook him from his worry. Remember, he whispered, Walk ahead of your guest, fist bumps are safer, and don’t serve lollipops. This year would be different.

“Happy Valentine’s, Goat,” Giant said.
“Meh,” Goat said.

Giant walked to the dining room. Goat’s horns bumped his ankle with every step.

“Ooh, Churros!” Goat said. Giant put out his fist bump. Goat’s hoof crashed into it. Giant rubbed his hand tenderly.

Goat chewed the churros wildly. She gobbled the heart shaped cakes, kissy lip crumpets, and doilies. 
Giant’s belly rumbled.

“First, you head-butt me across the room,” Giant roared.
"Love taps." 
(goat image via pixabay Gaborfejes)

“Love taps.”

“Then, you hard-hoof me,” Giant yelled.
“I wanted to hold your hand.”

“But why did you eat everything?” Giant sighed.
“That’s how goats show their love.”

A pink blush grew across Giant’s face.

Then he ate Goat.
Next year would be better.


  1. This is a funny one for sure! "Then he ate goat." haha! Lot's of luck to you!

  2. I didn't expect the twist at the end. I hope next year will be better too. Good Luck with your entry.

    1. He tried really hard... I'm sure he'll do better next year:)

  3. This is so funny! My third grade class would love this--especially the ones who think Valentine's is a little icky!

  4. “Ooh, Churros!” Goat said.
    I don't blame Giant one bit. Don't take my churro!
    Good luck Lauri!

    1. Can you imagine you smelled churros in your house all day, but didn't get to eat one!?

  5. Hahhaahhaaaa! Love the ending! Good luck in the contest!

    1. Thanks Jilanne! I think trying to keep the Goat alive for the first 20 drafts was hindering me. He just had to go!

  6. Hahaha! Oh my gosh! Lauri you so funny! Apparently no amount of trying to head off trouble at the pass is enough to save Giant's guests :) But next year will be better! :) Thanks so much for joining in the Valentiny fun! And that was a great ending! :)

    1. Thanks Susanna for the inspiration. I really enjoyed this plotting this story, even though the ending was a fight.

  7. I love the surrealist touch of this story, Lauri. Tea-times with giants, goats professing love, spontaneous consumption... I dig it. Great work!


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