I mentioned last week how my critiques and edits had been stacking up to an unmanageable pile.
So with ReViMo as incentive I got busy.
But things got embarrassing fast. And not in an underwear showing while butt-in-chair way. Worse. I found this in one of my critiqued pieces:
into the house.
Seriously? I wrote crept quietly? What the heck was I thinking? I wanted to ensure the reader didn't think he was creeping noisily?
It gets worse.
I deleted the word quietly SIX times in one 1200 word short story. If you add in other deletions of "quickly," "slowly," "apologetically"-- 1% of the story was adverbs. The embarrassment of walking around with an atomic wedgie would be less than what I felt that first day.
|"If they don't stop feeding us corn, we should stampede|
(image by sista via sxc.hu)
Weak verb constructions splashed all over the pages. How would cows start stampeding? Doesn't that obliterate the definition of the stampede? Were they discussing a plan to stampede in Moo-vernacular? Nope. Then, why did I write that? Do I have a deep-rooted fear of stampedes, so I wanted to take it slowly? I DON'T KNOW.
I know this has turned into a bad reality show you can't stop watching even though you want to avert your eyes. But it goes on.
Dreadful. Maybe when I wrote these sentences, the ideas were coming so fast I couldn't think of better ways to show what was happening. I could give myself that excuse. But I won't.
Once again I apologize to my critique partners. I didn't realize I was making you work so hard. If you are now suffering from strikethrough-itis, I promise to help anyway I can.
I don't know why these problems are so easy to find during critiques and impossible to identify in my own stories. But I hope awareness of the problem I’m facing will help me to correct this awkward situation.
Of course, it would make me feel better if you would admit to your writing problems in the comments. Happy revising!