Monday, December 17, 2012

A Mom to Share Holiday Story


Susanna Leonard Hill is hosting her second annual Holiday Contest where you write a children's holiday story beginning with any version of "Dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh" and under 350 words.   In case you were wondering 350 words is not very many, but forces editing practice!  

Happy Holidays everyone!

A Mom to Share
By Lauri Meyers

Photo by N.J. Lee via Flickr
Hopping through the squares in brown leather shoes, Maggie picked up her rock. 
"How come you wear those shoes every day, even with your purple dress?"  Eva asked. 
"They're the only pair I have," Maggie replied and skipped back to 1. 

At home Eva spread her shoes across the floor.  She slid the flowered ones in her backpack. 
"The flowers will match your purple dress," Eva said and handed Maggie the shoes.
"Thank you!"  Maggie gave Eva a high five.

For sharing day, Maggie brought the same pirate book she did every week.  
"Maggie, is that your favorite book?" Eva asked.
"Well, it's the only one I have," Maggie said. 

Eva had hundreds of books.  She even had two Crazy Caterpillar books from her fifth birthday.  She shoved both books in her backpack.
"Maggie, I have a book to share with you," Eva said.
"Awesome!" Maggie said.  They opened their books and giggled at the goofy bug.     

The girls colored pictures of Christmas trees with presents underneath. 
"Who are you making your card for?" Maggie asked. 
"My Mom, of course!" Eva smiled.  "Are you giving yours to your Mom?"
"Oh, I don't have one of those," Maggie said quietly and kept coloring.

Eva knew Mom would be too big to shove into her backpack.  Plus, she still needed her quite a bit.
"Mom, I shared shoes and a book with my friend, but I don't think I could share you," Eva said.
"Hmm, that is a problem," Mom said and pulled a pan of chocolate chip cookies out of the oven.  "She is very lucky to have a friend like you."  Mom broke a gooey cookie in half. 
"Your cookies are so delicious," Eva said as chocolate dripped down her lip. 
"Must be the extra love I add," Mom said.

Eva couldn't wait to see Maggie the next day at lunch. 
"Maggie, I'm sorry I can't give you my Mom, but I brought some of her love," Eva said and handed Maggie a cookie.   Maggie gave Eva a long hug.   Eva thought the cookies tasted even better shared. 

36 comments:

  1. ADORABLE. I love the heart and soul of this sharing message, Lauri!

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    1. Thank you! Little kids just see things so simply.

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  2. What a lovely, sweet story that really captures the spirit of the holidays, Lauri! I love how big-hearted Eva is, and how hard she tries to make things right for Maggie when ultimately it is her friendship that matters most. I'm so glad you entered! Thanks for joining in the fun even though it was hard to make the word count :)

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    1. You don't have to be big to be big-hearted!

      Thank you for hosting the contest! I thought I had written pretty sparsely the first time and was shocked to learn it was 560 words. Gulp, editing time!

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  3. Such a heartwarming story. Almost bittersweet. Have seen a lot of entries that would make good books! Lovely moral.

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    1. Thanks Patricia! When it's cold outside, you need a heartwarming story.

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  4. I can barely type with these tears brought on by your story. The sentiment in this story is just what Christmas is all about. This contest is going to be so hard to judge. You've just pushed my all time favorite tug at the heart button. Oh this is so good.

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    1. Aww, Pam, now you have me crying too :) There is always just enough of everything to share a little.

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  5. Like Pam, this one brought tears to my eyes. A beautiful story of friendship, empathy, and caring.

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    1. Thank you Laura. I loved your humbug story :)

      It only takes a little gesture to show your BFF how much you care!

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  6. What a wonderful story. Very heartwarming. It sends a beautiful message, perfect for the Christmas Season! In just a few words, you brought Maggie and Eva to life that I can't help but fall in love with them. Excellent! Good luck with this winning piece.

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    1. Thanks Romelle! I might start making myself cut PB manuscripts down to 350 so I can force the language tighter. I was pretty shocked when 150 words came out and the story didn't really change.

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  7. Oh, my, Lauri! What a heart-warming tale!! Good luck with your contest, although I don't see how you could lose. ;)

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  8. Lauri, this is a wonderful and heartwarming story, very well written and speaks to the spirit of the holidays even though no holiday is mentioned. Very well done!

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    1. Thanks Carrie! I really enjoyed your story of saving the neighborhood christmas lights with the same gentle message of the spirit of the holidays.

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  9. Lovely, just lovely. I particularly liked the way Eva brought Maggie some of her mother's love.

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    1. Thank you Beth. I had Eva and her Mom discussing possible solutions over cookies for a long time before I realized the ending was right in front of me.

      You "skated" right into my heart with your Scrape, Scrape, Scrape Jingle Bells song.

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  10. Oh my goodness, this is perfect! What a creative solution.

    And I think my favorite line : " Eva knew Mom would be too big to shove into her backpack. Plus, she still needed her quite a bit."

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    1. Yeah, she's probably 6 so she is almost independent, but moms can be so helpful tying shoes and packing lunches ;) I enjoyed your Christmas Sprites. Maybe they are also the gatekeepers who keep those naughty elves in line?

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    1. Thank you! I'm still dazzled by your homophones!

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  12. I feel like your story is the treasure at the end of a long journey, clicking through all those links on Susanna's blog. I am SO glad that I reached yours - it's lovely. Happy holidays!

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    1. Cathy that means a lot coming from you. I hope to see a lovely Cathy poem go up soon! Happy Holidays!

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  13. Lauri...we've all been blessed because you entered the contest. :)
    I don't think there could be a dry eye around when this story is read...you captured the children's voices so perfectly...and I love the progression of sharing...don't change a thing...publish this NOW!!!!

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    1. Thank you so much Vivian! Happy Holidays!

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  14. What a great story of sharing, and I loved your descriptions!

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    1. Thank you Jennifer! We almost lived out your story yesterday when my 2 year old had her first holiday singing show. There was no singing, but she did sit there very politely with a shocked look on her face staring at all those giant-sized Daddies and grandparents while her big sister tried to get her to sing from the audience... She didn't cry but she did give me the tightest hug of all time after the show.

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  15. That story made me as warm and gooey inside as that cookie. What a beautiful story!

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    1. Well, this story counts as your Christmas present and a meal then!

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  16. So sweet Lauri!
    Happy Holidays to you and yours. :)

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  17. So sweet --what a great story! :) You won my Christmas Contest, by the way. Shoot me an email at erinbradypike(at)live(dot)com with your mailing address and I'll get your Amazon giftcard into the mail. I hope you and yours have an awesome Christmas!

    Erin

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    1. "It is a sundae!" (that is a silly memory from that 80s McDonalds commercial which my family always says when we get an awesome gift!)
      Thank you Erin!

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  18. Lauri,
    Such a sweet story of generosity and Christmas spirit! Great job!

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    1. Thanks Penny! Congrats on being a finalist!

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