Monday, June 10, 2013

Donny Stapler the Dummy Maker (and Some Monkeys)

      I splurged on a new little friend: Donny Stapler the Dummy Maker!

Meet Donny Stapler!
      You know I get excited about little things and arguably a new stapler is a little thing.  But don't tell Donny Stapler he's little. No way! He's BIG! Yes he can stable up to 15 inches deep!!!

      "When would you need to staple 15 inches deep?" you ask. 
      "I have no clue!" I reply.

      But I like to staple 5 ½" deep A LOT (halfway through a 8 ½ x 11" piece of paper) which my old stapler couldn't do.  Donny Stapler makes mini picture book dummies with ease!

Attack preparations underway
(image by gfree via sxc.hu)
      
      Now, I have no excuse for every manuscript to not be perfectly paced, except for perhaps my poor writing skills.  I have no excuse for not having exciting page turns, except for maybe my boring personality.   I have certainly no excuse for having too many words on a spread, except for possibly my laziness.
      And since lack of skill, being boring, and laziness are not terribly good excuses for a writer, I really must make wonderful picture books now. I suppose the only good excuse for a writer to use is "I was being attacked by monkeys throwing poop!," because it is well known monkeys throw poop, and it is reasonable to believe flying poop would be quite distracting or at the very least make typing difficult.


"How can I make a Mini Dummy, so I can be an amazing picture book writer?" you ask.
These monkeys are going with the, um,
direct method of gathering, um,
material to throw at writers.
(image by rjuliana via sxc.hu)
Well, follow these careful instructions:
1.      Take 8 pieces of paper
2.      Fold them in half
3.      Staple in the middle (Donny Stapler accomplishes this with ease, but you can also try folding, bending, shoving and swearing with a regular stapler to accomplish a similar end.) Voila- you have a 32 page picture book!
4.      Write or paste or tape your text on each spread, starting on page 5. Read aloud, tweak, massage, paste again until the text flows so well, you could read it at the zoo...near the monkeys...while they do what they do.

P.S. Spending too long looking at monkey pictures is also not a reasonable excuse for not writing, though I am surely not the first writer to fall prey.  How could I resist this last image? Clearly this dog is getting ready to play the best game of fetch in the history of canines. "Wait, wait, you gonna throw poop for me to catch! That is the coolest arfing thing ever, man!"
(image by lilja via sxc.hu)

13 comments:

  1. I had access to one of these nifty gadgets when I was a work-study library student. Little did I know how I would miss it when I no longer had free access to a long arm stapler. Can I come over and borrow yours sometime?

    Oh those naughty monkeys.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cathy, do stop by and share my stapler! I will even make coffee or tea. If you let me know ahead of time, I can attempt to clear a path so you don't have to step on the usual barbies, crayons, bowls, tiaras, and lipglosses which often reside in my foyer.

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  2. Replies
    1. Sometimes having fun is all we really need. And a good stapler. And maybe a sharp pencil. That's all you really need: fun, a good stapler, a sharp pencil, and maybe some paper...

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  3. Ah, I have my own dummy stapler (named Stitchy)and he is a wonderful asset.

    As to your other point, I am pleased that I do not live in a monkey-enriched part of the world. I suspect this is why India, say, is not known for its picture book publishing industry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Excellent point. While we do face the rare pigeon droppings attack, they are few and far between and likely only disrupt writers who only write on park benches.
      I adore the name Stitchy. It is both cute and defines his job nicely. I just like yelling "Hey Donny Boy, let's make some dummies!"

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  4. There's nothing like a good stapler! I can totally relate to your excitement--I'm an office supply junkie! :)

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    Replies
    1. Isn't it lovely having a variety of colors of post-it notes to write edits on or just the right shades of markers to write the heading of a to do list?

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  6. This post caught my eye when I read the Halloweensie post. :) I love a good stapler too. I staple bulletins at church (when randomly assigned). I've sworn at that one before in the church. I hope Donny the stapler continue to treat you well.

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    Replies
    1. Oh well I will have to keep an eye on Donny to make sure he is behaving nicely! So far so good, though I reserve him for making book dummies for me and pretend books for my daughter (though they are exactly the same thing, mine are much more professional :)

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